Monday, October 24, 2016

October Update: Stalled

I don't have much to report this month.

I went out of town the first weekend of this month and wrecked my rental car. It wasn't anything major. No other cars involved, nobody hurt or anything. Just bumps and bruises from me. But that, among other things, has sucked my creativity dry.

I made it through an edit of ToK. I need to do two or three minor things to it and it'll be ready for beta readers.

And that's all. I was supposed to finish one of my adventure series stories. I was going to try to write for the Cafe. Instead, I got nothing. I also finally got my rejection from Flash Fiction Online. It made it to the final round, but still didn't get accepted. I haven't had the heart to try to send it back out.

I haven't even been able to read. I've started reading probably eight different books now. Bookmarks are sitting in two of them, and the rest have gone back on the shelf or in the box to donate.

I know sometimes writers need a break from writing. We need input to continue our output. I just feel like I've stalled out this month since I'm not even putting things in right now.

Next month is NaNo. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself right now, since I have to try to start the final book in the trilogy I'm writing next month. But I'm losing hope. I'm getting discouraged.

The forward momentum had been amazing. And now?

I don't even know what I'm aiming for anymore. The small press I wanted to submit to closed its doors. I still haven't gotten the line edits I was hoping for. I don't even care about the characters in my books anymore.

I know I'll get my writing mojo back at some point. I know that just because I spend a month not writing it doesn't mean I'm not a writer. I'll get it back.

But I still feel sick and listless about it right now. I'm not sure what to do.

Which is sad. October is my favorite month. And it's been a good month overall. Just terrible for writing. I haven't even been to the office.

Hopefully NaNo will do what NaNo is great at: get me back into a writing practice.

Until then...I have a week left of October. Maybe...maybe I'll just let myself relax without the pressure of having to create. All my worlds, all my characters, will still be there when I'm ready.

In my experience, I'm never able to stay away for long.

Sorry for the downer, friends. But maybe it's hopeful. All writers go through this. We're not alone when we feel this way. And it's temporary.