2025 Update: Quiet

I don't have any updates.

Which kinda begs the question: why post an update, then?

Well, to be completely honest, it's been over six months since my last post, so it felt like it was time to say something, even if it was just that I have nothing to say. I've posted at least one post a year since this blog's inception, so I want to make sure to keep that streak.

I'm not sure what happened this year. Well, I guess one of the things that happened was we stopped doing our Saturday afternoon write-ins. We switched them to Saturday evening maker nights. Unfortunately, people getting together to work on whatever (but mostly just socialize) hasn't been very nourishing for my creativity. I went a few times. I tried to write once, and it didn't go great. I did a puzzle online one night. And then I just sat around another night. I've stopped going. I don't know how to tell them that I need writing accountability, not just people around me. Unfortunately, nobody else is in a place where they are writing, aside from Neil. And we're meeting at his house, so he may feel motivated to work, but I don't. It's not been an environment to foster creativity for me.

That's not the only reason I haven't written, though. Not having accountability hasn't ever stopped me from writing at least a little in the past. So far this year, I've written 74 words.

No, the bigger issue is burnout. I don't know if the not-NaNo in November threw me, or if, I dunno. I've just hit a stage in my life where my little fantasy stories just don't hold my interest anymore. I'm definitely going through some preference changes. I'm rewatching Dexter again, getting ready for the new episodes, but it's just...hitting differently now. I got through the first two seasons and enjoyed them a lot, but I kind of ran aground on season three. And it's the same with Buffy. I caught a "live" episode or two recently on our TV app's live TV...and while I assumed it'd suck me in and make me want to do a rewatch, it did...not. In fact, it kinda gave me a gross feeling. I've experienced the same with reading, although that's been going on for awhile. The change from heavy fantasy to urban fantasy to more realistic fantasy to now, barely fantasy at all. I mean, still fantasy, but cozy fantasy. More light stuff. Romance, too, that's not even fantasy based.

I'm wondering if it might be time to think about writing new stuff. Something for a 44 year old woman rather than a 22 year old girl. A 44yo woman who is into hiking and camping and gardening and tiny houses and homesteading. The adventures I want to go on now include hiking to the tops of mountains and living in the wilderness for weeks at a time, when, back in the day, my idea of adventure was getting swept up by The Doctor or finding out magic was real and having to save the world from evil magic users or monsters.

Of course, I really want to wrap up outstanding projects before I transition into whatever new genres I decide to explore. I want to write at least another season or two of Sally Prescott. I want to get Mystwatch edited. Finish Chain Letter Choice. Once I get those things wrapped, then I think I will feel more free to experiment with other genres. I guess the good news with Sally Prescott is that, after the mini series, I have ideas for full-length thriller-type novels. I just have to get there, first. So like, I'm probably gonna have to write more than one SP adventure a year. I've got 15 left to write.

So I'm at an impasse. Do I force myself to tie up these projects neatly and give fiction-writing Sara a formal farewell? Or do I make it messy, trying new things, going back to old things. Or do I just sit and not write?

Well, you can see which one I have done for the last six months.

I do want to write, though. Something. I have been thinking about and poking at a few different projects. I just...there's all this pressure to start the exact right thing, so I don't get frustrated and quit. If I start writing something and it doesn't click, I'll bail and maybe go another six months without writing. It's a lot of pressure, so again, my decision has been not to make a decision.

It's dumb and I wanna stop. The fear of failing before I start is such a familiar one as far as writing goes. And the worst that happens is that, yeah, I don't write for a bit again. That's where I am currently at, so if I make any progress on anything at all, even if it doesn't click, it's still progress. It's still something.

So. I need to make some time and space to write. I just...can't put that onus on my friends who aren't there right now. So, I talked to Jack. He's mentioned he wants to start writing again. I asked if he'd be my accountability partner. He seemed tickled I asked. So. I think, at some point soon, I am going to start doing writing days with Jack. We'll probably set up at Old Chicago, where he does most of his writing anyway. I dunno if it'll be conducive to me writing, but we'll see, I suppose. I've even thought about inviting Rachel, although my guess is she isn't there yet, either. Might be nice to have this quiet thing that Jack and I do. Quietly.

So yeah. I have been quiet because my writing inspiration has been quiet. But now, I think I will try to start quietly writing. Quietly. Soon. So hopefully I'll have another update soon. Before December, anyway. Jeez.

December Update: I haven't updated since July???

Wow. This poor blog has been horribly neglected this year. I legit forgot about it again for almost six months.

But I have lots of writing progress to update about!

First, we kept meeting every Saturday through the end of September. I wrote about 7500 words across those three months, making good progress on both SP 2.5 and CLC.

In October, I took a break. I don't remember what exactly happened, there. I know some of it was travel-related. But I think a lot of it was lack of inspiration and a desire to spend time outside, as is typical for October.

But Neil and Dianne decided to host a non-Nanowrimo writing month, and they took my naming suggestion of AMOC (a month of confabulations), so I decided that I'd give it a shot. I haven't done an actual NaNo in many years. I skipped it entirely last year, and before that, I think I managed only a week, maybe two, each November. But using a new tracking website (Trackbear) and setting my own goal, I felt like it might be do-able. I was only going to do a half-NaNo at first, but then I decided that since that is an arbitrary number already, that aiming for 1k a day was a better goal. So a goal of 30k words, with the sub-goal in there finishing SP 2.5 first, then writing as many words as I could on CLC, maybe even finishing it.

I can officially say I completed my AMOC goal. I wrote 30k words, and I finished SP 2.5. I did not finish CLC, but I wrote 15k words on it. And now I'd say I'm within 5k of finishing the book. So, AMOC was a success. It was fun having a leaderboard again and having a graph like the old NaNo site. Keeping a streak of 14 days in a row to finish off SP was great. I didn't manage to keep a streak with CLC, but I did manage to write most days. And the best part is, I don't have the writing hangover I used to get with NaNo. I did have to write 3k on the last day to hit my goal, but the rest of the month, it felt like a comfortable pace. I hope that we do it again next year, because it was a lot of fun.

I also hope we do it again next year, because it put me pretty far ahead on my writing goals for next year. I am hoping to write at least a few thousand more words on CLC this December (since I don't have a writing hangover), so I'll be within a few thousand of done. That frees up two months next year in my project timeline.

I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, though. I could absolutely burn out before next November. But I plan on using Trackbear for my upcoming projects. I've already created a project for SP 3.1. I'm not sure when I'll start that one, but I do have the first line floating around in my mind, already, so I could start it any day now. I put my goal for the year next year as 60k. If I write 30k during AMOC next year, finish at least one SP novel and start another, that's easily 60k. That doesn't count any writing on Sleepy Shoals or any other project I decide to work on. It also doesn't count any editing, but I think I'll track that as a different goal.

I did really want to dive into Mystwatch edits next year. And I still might. But I'm not really feeling it right now. We'll see how I feel after holiday craziness and January blues have passed.

One last thing I haven't mentioned: I'm taking a hiatus from freelance editing. I really want to focus on my own writing for a year or two. Getting these projects that have been hanging on forever wrapped up is a huge priority right now. I know there will always be more projects, but getting back on track with two SP adventures a year, finishing CLC after all these years of dragging it out, and finally, finally giving Mystwatch the edit it deserves so I can do some sort of limited self-published print run are things that will allow me to reach a stage where I can either decide to lay my writing aside for good, or I can jump into a ton of new stuff and not have to look back.

So yeah. That's where I'm at, now, as we draw closer to the end of 2024. I am happy with my writing progress. I hope to write one or two more days before we ring in the New Year, but at this moment, I have written 56,000 words, spent 20 hours editing my work, wrote 4,000 brainstorming words, and have written a total of 60 days, averaging around 5 days per month. I even did a freelance developmental edit. Most importantly, I established a writing habit with my friends, getting together to at least look at my writing once a week for a few hours.

It's been a dang good year. Not my most prolific, for sure. But maybe my best since the days I was writing for publication. I'm looking forward to even more progress next year.

June Update: I haven't updated since January??

Okay, wow, holy cow. I thought I was doing monthly updates this year. Why did I think that? I seriously came here and panicked because I thought entries had been lost. I guess...I just decided not to update my progress. Weird.

So I guess that it goes without saying after that statement that I have, in fact, made progress. Here's a quick recap.

January, I apparently wrote 5500 words and edited for 2 hours, working on SP adventures.

February, I didn't do anything until the very last couple of days, where I finally started working on my fantasy Leverage thieves guild story. Managed 2100 words on that, so that's cool. A respectable start, anyway. Not that I know where it's going. It needs some more world building, I think.

March, I did nothing. No writing. No editing. No freelance from Lisa. I have no idea what happened in March. I think that's about the time I reached out to the writers and let them know that I did, in fact, want to start writing, but I couldn't do it on my own.

Because then, in April, I managed 1000 words and an hour of editing. Writing was on SP, editing on fantasy Leverage.

It looks like the middle of May is when we started meeting on Saturdays to write. I spent an hour deciding what to work on one of those write-ins, and then dove into CLC. By the end of the month, I'd spent 12 hours reading and editing CLC and wrote 2250 words.

I guess that's why I haven't updated. By the first of June, I didn't have a ton of progress to update. Although in all honesty, all of that is a ton of progress! Even though I took a break in March, the fact that I was touching projects enough to write 1-2k a month is impressive.

But I think the other reason I decided not to update is that the spark of inspiration was very small and fragile. I tend to get overzealous when I finally start writing again after a long break, and when I get excited, I make all these plans, and when I do that, I snuff it out. So. I think I remember deciding to see how June went before updating.

So, here we are, first of July. And I had a really great month! We met every Saturday to write. And since we got most of the social stuff and procrastinating done in May, but June, we were able to actually settle in and do a bit of writing. By the end of the month, I was averaging 1000 words on those days. Which is fantastic.

So, grand total for June: 6400 words and 4 hours editing, all work on CLC. I am at 98k on that novel, now, and have fixed a lot of the problems from early on. I still probably have 20k more worth of story to tell, and I'm losing steam on the project. But. I made awesome progress on it last month. A few more months like that, and I could finally get that thing finished. Which would be so awesome!

Trouble is, I am getting bored with it again. And I don't know if that's just, in general, bored with writing, or if it's the story I'm bored with. It wouldn't be the first time. It's very exciting when I first read it, but then I lose the excitement once it comes time to write new words. I don't know why. I'm debating pushing through and trying to get to the end over the next couple months. Or at least giving it one more month. I am down to about six more scenes that need to be written. Five and a half. Including the epilogue, which I've written a lot of already.

In my experience, finishing any book can be a slog. But I don't want to burn myself out. And I don't know that I want to waste my writing inspiration on a book I'm not excited about anymore. Luckily, I have some time to decide before our next write-in. Although I really ought to try to write a bit on non-write-in days. I managed that a bit in the beginning of June but not so much by the end.

I actually decided to make it my goal to write 200 words a day. That's less than a page a day. A few paragraphs. But I picked 200 words a day because that's 6k words a month. I was originally aiming for 5k a month this year, but I got behind by, y'know. Not writing. I know writing an extra thousand a month won't catch me up, but telling myself I only have to write 200 words a day makes it feel surmountable. Of course, 100-150 words would be even better, but it's not quite enough to get where I want to be. At any rate, if I can write 1000 words every 5 days, that's my 200 words. I can write 1000 words in less than an hour. So if I write 1000 words at write-ins, I only have to spend maybe another thirty minutes writing during the rest of the week.

I hope I can keep this up. I'd like to keep this up for at least a few more months to get some projects finished. If I can do it the rest of this year, I could realistically get CLC and SP 2.5 done. Those are my big goals. If I get nothing else done this year, I at the very least need to wrap up SP 2.5. And I'd like to spend at least one more month on CLC.

But I might rebel and just work on Sleepy Shoals instead.

I will likely try to write another blog at the beginning of August to give an update on how my July went. I'm excited to see where I go. I might have a freelance editing project in the middle. Maybe I can work on CLC until I get that, then switch projects once it's done.

I have options! And I have accountability! And I have at least a little bit of excitement to write. Here's hoping I get some good progress done this month.