I hate to jinx it...but I've written three nights in a row now. Tonight it should be four.
I haven't been writing large quantities. Just a flash fiction on Monday, and blog posts for the Confabulator Cafe on Tuesday and Wednesday. Tonight is a planning meeting for Script Frenzy, so I hope to do some brainstorming for my script idea, which will include a little writing.
It's not much. But it's a start. And I feel a shift.
I've been miserable for awhile. Weeks, really. A lot of it was being sick, or miserable weather, or frustration at work, all compounded by the fact that I wasn't getting any exercise.
But I think the biggest reason for my misery was fear and loss. Writing is such a huge part of who I am. I wasn't writing, so I felt like I had lost myself, and I was afraid I'd never get that part of myself back again.
I was trying to force it before, too. I'm not sure I was ready. But this week I'm feeling it again. And I'm starting to get excited for Script Frenzy. I started with an idea I didn't like all that much, but it has been ballooning into absolute craziness in my mind the last few days. I think I can do a lot more with it than I initially thought.
And that is what I missed so much. What I wasn't feeling before. The ideas! The ideas colliding into each other in my mind, and the characters chattering about what they were going to do in these ridiculous situations. It's all starting. And I think I've found myself again.
And can you locate all of the sentences I started with a conjunction in this post? I didn't say I was back to writing well, just that I was writing again.
I ought to knock on wood when I say that, though. I really hope this sticks.