Writing Streak

I hate to jinx it...but I've written three nights in a row now. Tonight it should be four.

I haven't been writing large quantities. Just a flash fiction on Monday, and blog posts for the Confabulator Cafe on Tuesday and Wednesday. Tonight is a planning meeting for Script Frenzy, so I hope to do some brainstorming for my script idea, which will include a little writing.

It's not much. But it's a start. And I feel a shift.

I've been miserable for awhile. Weeks, really. A lot of it was being sick, or miserable weather, or frustration at work, all compounded by the fact that I wasn't getting any exercise.

But I think the biggest reason for my misery was fear and loss. Writing is such a huge part of who I am. I wasn't writing, so I felt like I had lost myself, and I was afraid I'd never get that part of myself back again.

I was trying to force it before, too. I'm not sure I was ready. But this week I'm feeling it again. And I'm starting to get excited for Script Frenzy. I started with an idea I didn't like all that much, but it has been ballooning into absolute craziness in my mind the last few days. I think I can do a lot more with it than I initially thought.

And that is what I missed so much. What I wasn't feeling before. The ideas! The ideas colliding into each other in my mind, and the characters chattering about what they were going to do in these ridiculous situations. It's all starting. And I think I've found myself again.

And can you locate all of the sentences I started with a conjunction in this post? I didn't say I was back to writing well, just that I was writing again.

I ought to knock on wood when I say that, though. I really hope this sticks.

Tuesday disguised as Monday, complete with Writer's Block

Some mornings I wake up and I am completely appalled at myself for thinking that I can write worth a damn.

Of course, these are also the mornings where the sun is too bright and the birds are too loud, people are more annoying than usual, and I feel like I suck at life.

This is one of those days.

It's not even a Monday, although it's pretending to be since yesterday was a holiday. Days like this should only happen on Mondays. Real Mondays.

It'll pass. Always does. But in the meantime, it makes my creativity constipated. In a previous entry I talked about how I have more story ideas than I could finish in my lifetime, but on days like these, I don't like a single one of those stories. The Well may run Deep, but I feel dried up today. It was a dried up sort of weekend.

I'm in the process of typing up a story I started six or seven years ago. I read back over some of it while I was in Florida and was amazed at how well-written it was. Unfortunately, as I type, I am more and more amazed at how bad it is. Whose brilliant idea was it to waste time typing up a lame story idea?

Oh yeah, that'd be me.

It'll more than likely prove to be a worthwhile effort one of these days, so I will continue to transcribe. But I'm going to be pouty about it. I'm also going to hold it partially responsible for dampening my motivation to write.

I am reluctant to call it Writer's Block, although I suppose by definition that's what it is. I spent the long weekend cleaning and doing chores and finishing projects around the house that I've been putting off for months. A clear sign of avoidance. Anything I could do to not write. I even took apart my vacuum cleaner and washed all of the filters.

Yeah, I wish I was kidding.

The way I see things right now, I need one of two things. I either need to find a shiny new project that I am so excited about that I have no desire to clean dust-bunnies out of my vacuum...or I need a break from writing to recuperate after my significant output of two short stories.

Maybe it's too soon to jump into the next big project. Maybe I need some downtime. I'm afraid to go there, though, in case I lose momentum. I know I have ten years, but I am on a deadline.

What it really comes down to right now is that I am itching to write, but I just don't know what. If it wasn't so damn hot, I would take one of my long, creatively rejuvenating walks to get the juices flowing. Somehow the repetitive motion of walking and the changing of scenery loosens me up (to stick with the sort of disgusting constipation metaphor). Taking a walk outside always seems to jump start my inspiration.

What do you do to battle Writer's Block and get your ideas moving?

The Well Runs Deep

One of my biggest fears as a writer has always been that one day I will run out of ideas. Run completely and utterly dry. That maybe one day I'll get published, and my publishers will expect another book, and there will be nothing left in me. This (among other things) results in Writer's Block, an ever expanding pile of unfinished stories, cold sweats, and a crippling reluctance to submit manuscripts to publishing companies.

So one night as I lay in bed worrying about this, I started to tick off all the unfinished projects and ideas I have floating around. I found that I couldn't keep track of them all on my fingers. So over the next few days, I compiled a list - not just of ideas, but which of those ideas have sequel potential, as well.

After finishing said list, I am now more afraid that I will never be able to write them all! I am overwhelmed with the sheer number of stories that need to be told and that they are locked in my head until I record them. Terrifying!

So the hard part now is deciding which projects have the most potential - both for me actually completing them and also being published. I had probably better focus on those and stop getting distracted by the tangents.

(Yeah, right. I will always follow the tangents. Sometimes stories just pop up and insist that they need to be told right now, and I have no choice but to oblige.)

I am going to try not to panic. This is a good problem to have. Right? I really have my work cut out for me, so it's time to buckle down and get to writing.

We won't count the epically unproductive vacation I just got back from. I've put it behind me, and I will make up for it by plodding along with my regularly scheduled fits and starts.

Hopefully I will finish something soon.