Some mornings I wake up and I am completely appalled at myself for thinking that I can write worth a damn.
Of course, these are also the mornings where the sun is too bright and the birds are too loud, people are more annoying than usual, and I feel like I suck at life.
This is one of those days.
It's not even a Monday, although it's pretending to be since yesterday was a holiday. Days like this should only happen on Mondays. Real Mondays.
It'll pass. Always does. But in the meantime, it makes my creativity constipated. In a previous entry I talked about how I have more story ideas than I could finish in my lifetime, but on days like these, I don't like a single one of those stories. The Well may run Deep, but I feel dried up today. It was a dried up sort of weekend.
I'm in the process of typing up a story I started six or seven years ago. I read back over some of it while I was in Florida and was amazed at how well-written it was. Unfortunately, as I type, I am more and more amazed at how bad it is. Whose brilliant idea was it to waste time typing up a lame story idea?
Oh yeah, that'd be me.
It'll more than likely prove to be a worthwhile effort one of these days, so I will continue to transcribe. But I'm going to be pouty about it. I'm also going to hold it partially responsible for dampening my motivation to write.
I am reluctant to call it Writer's Block, although I suppose by definition that's what it is. I spent the long weekend cleaning and doing chores and finishing projects around the house that I've been putting off for months. A clear sign of avoidance. Anything I could do to not write. I even took apart my vacuum cleaner and washed all of the filters.
Yeah, I wish I was kidding.
The way I see things right now, I need one of two things. I either need to find a shiny new project that I am so excited about that I have no desire to clean dust-bunnies out of my vacuum...or I need a break from writing to recuperate after my significant output of two short stories.
Maybe it's too soon to jump into the next big project. Maybe I need some downtime. I'm afraid to go there, though, in case I lose momentum. I know I have ten years, but I am on a deadline.
What it really comes down to right now is that I am itching to write, but I just don't know what. If it wasn't so damn hot, I would take one of my long, creatively rejuvenating walks to get the juices flowing. Somehow the repetitive motion of walking and the changing of scenery loosens me up (to stick with the sort of disgusting constipation metaphor). Taking a walk outside always seems to jump start my inspiration.
What do you do to battle Writer's Block and get your ideas moving?