August Update: Tough Goodbyes

Okay, bad news first.

Book three is still not done.

The good news is, I did spend most of the month working on it, adding about 20k words and moving it up so that it's very, very near the climax. The rest shouldn't take more than 10k-15k to write. So. I'm aiming to have that done in the next couple of weeks.

The second half of this month, I am really going to try to dive back into Druid Wars and at least get the dev edits done. I'm getting antsy to get that out. I'd really like to start querying this year, if at all possible, and I'm running out of months. They say most agents don't read much in December, even if they don't close, and I'm planning to focus solely on writing something new in November for NaNo. So that leaves August, September, and October to clean it up and query.

I think it'll be easier to shift focus to editing Druid Wars once book three is done. It's taking up a lot of my creative space right now, and I'm just so, so close to done that I can't think about anything else, even though some days I wish I could.

Hard to believe I started this journey seven years ago. It'll probably be eight years, all told, once I get edits and stuff done. Three books, start to finish, in eight years. That's not bad.

I would like to get more consistent though. I'm in a weird limbo where I'm working on old projects, trying to get them where they need to be. Once I settle into a write, edit, query routine, I'll be able to better put a timeline on books. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I'll always be all over the place.

 I still need to write one more Sally Prescott novelette this year, too. I got the alien one written (although it needs a really big edit in the middle), and the opening to the forest one. It should only take a month to crank it out. It'll be hard without Camp to help me through it, though. Hell, maybe I'll spend NaNo proper writing two SPs. Or even three! That math checks out. I need 15k more on 2.2 and two more would be 35k.

I'll consider it. I think I'll be pissed at myself if I do that, but it would put me back on track. I really would like to do three a year. Hell, I'd like to do five a year, but that's probably too much. They're supposed to be fun and laid back. I can't be that silly on command that much.

No, I really think I need something brand new. Although I tried that last year, and it didn't work. I love the world and story I created, and I really want to go back and find out what happens, but not for a NaNo.

I have to admit that the last month, I've been teetering on the edge of, do I really want to keep doing this? And I know I doubt myself from time to time and always come back to writing. But I think once I finish writing Mystwatch book three and editing Druid Wars book one, I may take a break for awhile. Maybe I'll do the SP adventure, but I have promised myself the freedom to not work on anything once all my projects for this year are done.

We'll see when I get there. I might not get there this year. I may drag these lingering projects into the next year. I hope not. I'd like to wrap up this "chapter" so to speak.

I want to switch gears for awhile. Maybe just a month. But I want to buy a new camera and take some pictures. I want to switch mediums and spend my free time photowandering rather than thinking so much about writing and editing. I want to tell stories with light rather than words. Probably not forever. Just for a bit. Until I get tired of it. Until I get antsy again.

I've written consistently for the last three and a half years (or at least written a writing blog once a month since then), so I think it would be okay for me to take some time away from it. I'm strangely not worried about losing momentum or anything. I'm already so behind on all my goals. I'm ready to throw my timeline out the window. If anything, I think a break might help recharge me. Give me some new stories and some new perspectives.

This is all tentative right now. When the time comes, I may not take a break. I may not actually know how to do that, anymore. But I will take pictures, either way. When I finish writing book three, I am going to reward myself with a new camera.

I'm dragging my feet, though. In part because once it's done, that's it. The end of something huge. In part because in my mind, I already know how it ends. I've imagined the final scenes over and over since the very first chapter I wrote. But I owe it to a lot of people--my friends, my brother and sister, my main character, and even myself--to put those images to paper. The end of the end. Diana's closure.

I'll be sad to say goodbye.

But the good news is, I'm already seeing Diana and the rest of the cast of characters through Eden's eyes, so I know it's only "see you later" not "goodbye." I'm not done writing in the MystWatch world. I'm just going away for a little while. I know I can always go back to visit.

Anyway. I digress.

Goodbyes are hard. I've lost a lot of coworkers at the day job the last several months, and that's been really sad. So many of them are off to better places, so in a way, I am jealous that I'm being left behind at this weird job that isn't really editing in the strictest sense. It's hard because I'm not even looking for another job. My plan has always been to work this job until I can make a living with my writing. I'm starting to worry it won't last that long.

Case in point, I just made $50 on a short story. Which, hey, someone wanted to buy one of my stories, paying me for a story that took me two days to write! But that was after sending it out seven times, and all the rest of the stories I've sent out have been rejected (or are in limbo).

It's so hard being a writer. It's demoralizing sometimes. As is the day job sometimes. I don't want to look for something new. But I might have to, out of fear for my job security.

Anyway. Life is chaotic and I have no idea what I'm doing. And I'm not even the one who just had a baby and moved into a new house (my sister), or got a new job and am moving to a new state (my coworker).

This turned into more of a look into my personal life than just my writing life. But sometimes it's hard to pull the two apart.

Anyway. This isn't goodbye for this blog. Not now. Not yet. But if I do finish my projects and decide I need a break, I may take a hiatus from posting here. Or hey, maybe I'll just post pictures. They do say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

I guess we'll see when the time comes.