July Update: Shifting inspiration

I was so proud of myself for my writing progress in June, so I figured that would inspire me to keep writing in July.

Unfortunately, it did not. I kinda wanted to write for the first week or so, but anytime I made time for it, I got that squirmy, uncomfortable dread feeling. I just haven't been in a writing frame of mind this month.

A lot of that is battling health stuff. I'm so tired all the time. A lot of that is being out of practice. Throwing crappy words at things feels like such a waste. Although the only way I'm going to get back in the swing of things is by doing.

I'm just not driven to write as much now as I used to be. It's not for a lack of ideas or projects. It's just the physical act of writing doesn't do much for me anymore. Not that I don't love going back to read over what I've written. I will always love that part. I just can't get excited to actually write. The magic seems to be well and truly dead.

My new creative outlet has really become watercolor painting.

I actually managed to do quite a bit of watercolor this past month. I started a 10-day challenge (that I actually gave up on because I decided I hated the way the person did the tutorials), had an afternoon where I painted without tutorials, and now I'm playing with my new palette so I can get ready to attempt some tutorials from my favorite Youtube artist. I'm hoping I can keep painting next month, as well. Even if it's just some of the brain relaxing abstracts from Andrea Nelson Art.

I might be picking up a new freelance editing client, as well. It's weird to me how that stuff is always cyclical. I gave up writing for editing awhile back. Even changed this blog over. Then I completely abandoned editing to focus on writing. Then Rachel got to writing again, then I took Lisa on as a client, and now, I've backed off to just dev editing for Lisa, and I might be doing some content edits for Kacey. And throughout all that, I have lost my writing mojo.

I don't want to give up on writing completely. That will always be an element of my life I return to. Even if it is just in the form of blogs and short stories or poking at old projects or being captivated by something new long enough to jot down a few thousand words. And I do, of course, want to put Mystwatch into the world someday. I need to fix book two to do that, so that's definitely high on my list of things to do. And I do want to keep writing a SP adventure a year, so at some point, I am going to have to write 10k-15k more on the adventure I started last month.

So maybe what I should do, now, is make time to sit with my writing. Maybe just one weekend, or one week. Say, okay, this is writing week. I gotta think about writing or touch a writing project every day this week before I go back to painting again.

I think that will be my goal for August. Jack will be gone on a spiritual retreat for a few days. My goal is to spend some time writing while he's gone.

Even if they are crappy words. I want to write some words. Four days. It shouldn't be hard to write some words for four days next month.

And maybe that will even open me up to writing some more.

I really want to finish this SP adventure this summer. Then, this fall, I can try my hand at editing Mystwatch. Or maybe I will poke at Sleepy Shoals or Once We Were Witches. Maybe even CLC.

I do want to write. Or rather, I want to want to. So, like I said, I'm not giving up. I'm just not pushing too hard. If I'm more inspired to paint, or even take photographs, then I will likely follow those inspirations so I can actually enjoy what I'm doing rather than suffer through for some perceived important end product.