2025 Update: Quiet

I don't have any updates.

Which kinda begs the question: why post an update, then?

Well, to be completely honest, it's been over six months since my last post, so it felt like it was time to say something, even if it was just that I have nothing to say. I've posted at least one post a year since this blog's inception, so I want to make sure to keep that streak.

I'm not sure what happened this year. Well, I guess one of the things that happened was we stopped doing our Saturday afternoon write-ins. We switched them to Saturday evening maker nights. Unfortunately, people getting together to work on whatever (but mostly just socialize) hasn't been very nourishing for my creativity. I went a few times. I tried to write once, and it didn't go great. I did a puzzle online one night. And then I just sat around another night. I've stopped going. I don't know how to tell them that I need writing accountability, not just people around me. Unfortunately, nobody else is in a place where they are writing, aside from Neil. And we're meeting at his house, so he may feel motivated to work, but I don't. It's not been an environment to foster creativity for me.

That's not the only reason I haven't written, though. Not having accountability hasn't ever stopped me from writing at least a little in the past. So far this year, I've written 74 words.

No, the bigger issue is burnout. I don't know if the not-NaNo in November threw me, or if, I dunno. I've just hit a stage in my life where my little fantasy stories just don't hold my interest anymore. I'm definitely going through some preference changes. I'm rewatching Dexter again, getting ready for the new episodes, but it's just...hitting differently now. I got through the first two seasons and enjoyed them a lot, but I kind of ran aground on season three. And it's the same with Buffy. I caught a "live" episode or two recently on our TV app's live TV...and while I assumed it'd suck me in and make me want to do a rewatch, it did...not. In fact, it kinda gave me a gross feeling. I've experienced the same with reading, although that's been going on for awhile. The change from heavy fantasy to urban fantasy to more realistic fantasy to now, barely fantasy at all. I mean, still fantasy, but cozy fantasy. More light stuff. Romance, too, that's not even fantasy based.

I'm wondering if it might be time to think about writing new stuff. Something for a 44 year old woman rather than a 22 year old girl. A 44yo woman who is into hiking and camping and gardening and tiny houses and homesteading. The adventures I want to go on now include hiking to the tops of mountains and living in the wilderness for weeks at a time, when, back in the day, my idea of adventure was getting swept up by The Doctor or finding out magic was real and having to save the world from evil magic users or monsters.

Of course, I really want to wrap up outstanding projects before I transition into whatever new genres I decide to explore. I want to write at least another season or two of Sally Prescott. I want to get Mystwatch edited. Finish Chain Letter Choice. Once I get those things wrapped, then I think I will feel more free to experiment with other genres. I guess the good news with Sally Prescott is that, after the mini series, I have ideas for full-length thriller-type novels. I just have to get there, first. So like, I'm probably gonna have to write more than one SP adventure a year. I've got 15 left to write.

So I'm at an impasse. Do I force myself to tie up these projects neatly and give fiction-writing Sara a formal farewell? Or do I make it messy, trying new things, going back to old things. Or do I just sit and not write?

Well, you can see which one I have done for the last six months.

I do want to write, though. Something. I have been thinking about and poking at a few different projects. I just...there's all this pressure to start the exact right thing, so I don't get frustrated and quit. If I start writing something and it doesn't click, I'll bail and maybe go another six months without writing. It's a lot of pressure, so again, my decision has been not to make a decision.

It's dumb and I wanna stop. The fear of failing before I start is such a familiar one as far as writing goes. And the worst that happens is that, yeah, I don't write for a bit again. That's where I am currently at, so if I make any progress on anything at all, even if it doesn't click, it's still progress. It's still something.

So. I need to make some time and space to write. I just...can't put that onus on my friends who aren't there right now. So, I talked to Jack. He's mentioned he wants to start writing again. I asked if he'd be my accountability partner. He seemed tickled I asked. So. I think, at some point soon, I am going to start doing writing days with Jack. We'll probably set up at Old Chicago, where he does most of his writing anyway. I dunno if it'll be conducive to me writing, but we'll see, I suppose. I've even thought about inviting Rachel, although my guess is she isn't there yet, either. Might be nice to have this quiet thing that Jack and I do. Quietly.

So yeah. I have been quiet because my writing inspiration has been quiet. But now, I think I will try to start quietly writing. Quietly. Soon. So hopefully I'll have another update soon. Before December, anyway. Jeez.