February Update: Still Plodding Along

I'm actually writing this update on March 1 and backdating it, because I forgot to update my progress last month. Woops. I guess that's why I was doing beginning-of-the-month posts. So I could post a few days or so in, and it wasn't a huge deal. I suppose I could date this as a normal March update, but that leaves me without an update for February, which I don't love.

So, we're going to pretend it's February 30 for the day. We're writers. We can do that, right?

That's a lie. I can't pretend it's the last day of February. I have too many things to do for the first of March. So, I'll just pretend for the sake of this post.

Okay, so, progress. Previously on my blog, I mentioned I'd been playing with all these different new dream ideas and made tentative plans to work on Druid Wars 2 and MystWatch 3 this year. I also made the goal to write 5k words a month on whatever I felt like working on.

So, this month, I bounced around a lot. I worked on a couple different short stories. I poked at Suddenly, Zombies! for an afternoon. And then, I had another YA urban fantasy dream that I wrote down...and now I have a new novel I'm working on.

I like this one better than the storm elemental one I was thinking about doing. There were pieces of that one that I didn't know how they worked, and it was a driving force of the story. So I shelved it (and also because it came during my fallow period and didn't excite me enough to bust me out of it). Now, this dream has a lot of similar elements, but came to me more fully fleshed out. Still some weird logistics I'll have to tweak, but in general, it's going to be easier to work with. Maybe less exciting, but that's okay. I'm torn, now, between the idea that this book is going to cannibalize all the pieces of that book, so I can't write it anymore. But maybe it can be in roughly the same world? It's just two mom stories. Maybe that's a wheelhouse I can get into. YA with teenagers that have magical moms and have to deal with it?

We'll see, I guess. That's getting ahead of myself. Right now, I really just want to write what I'm excited to write, and this book has permeated my mind. And the writing is relatively easy. So I feel like I'm writing on the right project.

One of the things I didn't talk about because I think it happened after my last post is that we've created a new writing group. We've pulled in all of our most dedicated and supportive members of the old, flagging group, and have set up monthly meetings and weekly check-in posts. It's really helped me a lot with the staying accountable, setting measurable and achievable goals, and even set up some writing time. We're going to meet the first Sunday of each month to address what we want from the group and how to structure it as we figure out all of our wants and needs and what works and what doesn't. We all have such discrete schedules that it's hard to make one day and time work for all of us. But. We seem to be all making writing time in drips and drabs with the people who can. I've fallen back into the Saturdays with Dianne and sometimes Amanda. It works really well for me, because I get to sleep in a bit, sometimes go for a walk, do a few chores or errands, then sit down and focus on writing for a few hours before figuring out dinner plans and stuff with the boys. Afternoons seem to be my most productive time, other than late in the evening, so it works. I don't think I'll ever be a morning writer. Mornings are for reflection and brainstorming and writing down dreams.

At any rate. That was info I needed to share but was more long-winded than I meant for it to be. The heart of this post is that I have a new novel idea, I wrote almost 7k words this month, and I'm feeling great about writing, again. I'm still planning on going slow. I still love the 5k a month on whatever I want to work on goal. I may abandon my novel mid month. Or I may have a prolific month and write 15k on it. We'll see. No pressure either way.

I do keep circling back to MystWatch, though. I tried to write some words on the Shane short, but I've decided I'm not in the write voice to write him right now. I am going to do an editing pass on books 1 and 2 in preparation for editing book 3, then hand the whole series to Aron, at least. Maybe Em, if she wants. Once I've been immersed in that world for that long, I'll have a better grasp on how to get into and wrap up Shane's story. I owe it to him. And it will help me see if I can write a spin-off series about him. I want to. I think it has potential to be cool. And it'll put me back in that world without falling back into the whole, holding on to your first completed book way past time to let it go. Which I think everyone is worried about, at this point. Me, too, a little.

I'm not making any huge plans to work on that in the next few months. I'd still like to see if I get any beta reads back. It's on Dianne's to-do list, now, so maybe in a month or so, I'll have her feedback to help guide my edit. And Jack will be done with his MFA after this weekend, as well as basketball, so hopefully he'll finally finish reading it, too. And I may nudge Rachel, just to let her know that I'd really love her thoughts and feelings on it, when she gets a chance.

Phew. That's a lot for one post. I'll end it with the goal to try to write at least another 5k next month, hopefully on my new novel. And I'm going to think on adjusting my posting schedule so it's back to being at the beginning of the month rather than the end. Maybe I'll start posting the day after our monthly meetings. We'll see how it goes.

January Update: I'm Still Here

Hey look! I'm actually updating my writing blog! How exciting is that? I wasn't sure I'd have anything to say after last year.

But I do.

I am still a writer.

That's mostly what I wanted to say.

This month, I've actually done some writing. About 5,700 words. Writing that I was excited about, that wasn't a chore! I even met with the girls on a Saturday like old times and Dianne and I talked for hours, building a world and developing a general plot. It was so, so awesome. That's one of the things I've missed the most. Hanging out with the girls, talking craft, working on brainstorming together, looking up after some quiet writing and sharing when you've come up with something clever. It's the part of NaNo I missed out on. And that is probably a lot because I didn't go to any write-ins. But also because, at official write-ins, I never felt like I could just hog an entire afternoon to talk about my ideas.

I was having these wild, steampunk, sci-fi dreams for about a week early this month. Then, we had a couple of really foggy mornings. And an idea was born. After much daydreaming and freewriting, and even making a kindergarten-level model, the world is precariously built, and I have the beginning of a story. Most of the words for the month were brainstorming, but over 500 words were on the actual novel. I've even got a Pinterest board. I am excited about this idea.

Of course, that means I haven't written on it much at all since mid-month. It's not that I'm scared or anything, but I'm being cautious. I don't want to force things. Writing was harder than I wanted it to be, when I finally did it. I know it'll come back, but it's a lot of work right now. And I've also been sick, which takes away some of the writing energy.

But, not only do I have this cool idea I'm having to build a whole world for, complete with climate and politics and fashion (because Dianne), but I also came up with a steampunk romance story I'm excited to tell, as well. I haven't done any world building for that one, beyond trying to describe what was in my dream. It could very well be in the same world as my NaNo novel was, but it could also be its own. I haven't decided yet. I really just want to tell the story, then I'll figure out details. Which, of course, is what got me into trouble with Dream Machine back in November. But even with all the world building I've done for the other new idea, I haven't done much actual storytelling yet. So there's a balance to strike in there somewhere between prep and actual writing.

My brother and sister also finally got to read Druid Wars. They both liked it (Aron loved it, and Emily liked it but had some feedback for me, in general saying she didn't love it as much as MystWatch). So I have some excitement for that world again, as well. It will probably be a long time before I go back and make the changes Em suggested for book one, but I found the opening I wrote for book two, and I am kinda toying with the idea of revisiting that this year.

And, as always, I'm always drawn to MystWatch. Just walking around Lawrence, I feel the pull of that world, the stories I've told and still want to tell, there. I still haven't gotten feedback from anyone else but Amanda on book three, but I'm about to go through without and fix things, then send it to Em and Aron anyway, make them be my beta readers. I asked Em if she'd be willing to give me feedback on stuff going forward, and she seemed excited about it, so that makes me happy. The next book I finish is going to her first.

Although to be honest, I do not know what book that will be right now. In my last blog post, I talked about how this year was going to be the year I was going to wrap things up, since this blog is on it's "last year," but I think what I've realized is that, despite needing a break at times (sometimes a longer break, sometimes shorter), I will always be a writer. Noting my progress and accomplishments here helps remind me of that. It helps me get excited when I get things done and helps me remember when I'm in a slump that those moments will pass.

The biggest thing right now is that I'm making a conscious effort to divide writing from publishing. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do as far as publishing. Despite swearing that I'm not making any plans anytime soon, I often think about self-publishing, or what I might submit next. I'm just not making any decisions right now. I'm going to see what ends up happening this year as far as writing. Focus on product, then maybe next year figure out what I want to do with that product, if anything.

So for this year, I've set a goal to write 5k words a month each month. That's it. That's my only goal. No finish this or start this or submit this. Just, write what I feel like writing when I feel like writing. I've spent several years with such a structured writing schedule that it might be nice to just relax and go where the wind takes me. But, setting a goal to write 5k words a month (and keep up with this blog), will keep me in touch with writing, so I don't end up adrift with no creative output for months. I can write 5k in a couple of days. Even if I don't have a creative inspiration at some point during a month, I can fake at least a few thousand words, or make up those words on another month.

So yeah. First check-in post of the year, and of the decade! I'll probably shift to posting at the ends of months this year rather than beginnings, unless I have big updates. So for now, until the end of next month. Leap-year February!

December Update: 2019 Achievements and the Uncertain Path Ahead

For some reason, I thought I'd already written a December post. Woops. Guess I should do that, now.

So, NaNoWriMo was a bust. I never even made it to any write-ins. I went to some of the non-writing events, but I stayed out of the Discord completely except for the midnight kickoff, and I stopped checking in on the forums after the second week. I swore the event off completely on the 20th when they announced validating wasn't going to be a thing, revealing they'd done nothing but lie and miscommunicate with MLs and users the whole flipping month (and much of the month before that). The NaNO HQ staff totally ruined the event for me, which sucked, since I'd already been struggling with writing so much. I mean, if it had been like every other year, it still might not have rekindled my love for writing. But as it was, I stopped writing after the first week, and all of my good feelings toward NaNo soured shortly after that. It's unlikely I'll ever go back, if I'm honest. And while some of that is due to my struggle with writing these days, a lot of that is I think it's time to move on from NaNo.

Some of my quitting last month was because my novel idea took a turn I wasn't ready to follow after. I think it's going to be a cool world, but it's not something I'm interesting in writing about right now.

Although to be fair to the novel, I'm not really interested in writing about much of anything right now.

At any rate, between the 5k words I wrote on the novel and another 2k words I wrote brainstorming a dream, I ended up with a little over 7k for the month. Which is more words than I've written in a single month since May. I wrote almost 5k in June, but not much more than 5k total in the months between June and November. So. I wrote some words, finally. More than just brainstorming words, too. Yay.

Trouble is, I still have no love, excitement, or passion about writing. I didn't enjoy writing any of those seven thousand words. It was perfunctory. Like a chore. Something I felt like I was supposed to do. I think I mentioned that last entry (I only wrote one other day after that post aside from the 2k brainstorming day on the 19th), and that never really changed.

So, yeah. I'm still not in the right mindset to write. I did get a little excited as I read back through this year's blog posts, though. I made some pretty awesome progress those first several months.

This progress should be noted, as this is, essentially, my year-end post.

In 2019, I:

• Wrote nearly 60,000 words over the course of the year
• Finished final edits on Druid Wars and queried 50 agents
• Edited MystWatch book 3 and sent it out to beta readers
• Wrote an entire Sally Prescott adventure and started on the next one
• Wrote over 10,000 words on Chain Letter Choice and outlined the rest of the book
• Brainstormed on ideas for EIGHT new stories/books (wow!)
• Started writing a new sci-fi novel for National Novel Writing Month
• Wrote a story (and a half) for the Confabulator Cafe and kept it running for its last year
• Beta read one novel and several short stories for writing friends
• Finished Masterclasses from Neil Gaiman, Judy Blume, and James Patterson
• Went to Murdercon in North Carolina with Rachel and learned a ton of cool stuff

I mean, for breaking up with writing, this year, I did pretty damn well. I know 60k words isn't a ton, but I edited two novels and queried a book. I also did Masterclasses and a convention to learn more, as well.

There's one or two things I might try to do in the next two weeks, but we're approaching holiday crazy time, so I don't hold out much hope. I'd really like to finish the Cafe story I was supposed to post in October. And I'd like to send Druid Wars to my brother and sister for Christmas. And I definitely need to write a "Cafe is Closed" post for the Confabulator Cafe.

And then I head into next year. I don't know what next year brings as far as writing, yet. I've given myself permission to not write for as long as I need to. And I'm enjoying doing other things.

But I miss being a writer, sometimes. I miss making plans, updating my progress, and, if I'm honest, getting lost in my imagination. There's a lot of baggage associated with being a writer, and I don't miss that stuff. But I miss being a writer at a very fundamental level. We'll see if I can get back there. It may take some more time, and it might take scrapping everything I've ever written and starting fresh. I'm not sure.

I do know that I'm planning on starting a new blog to talk about my journey toward homesteading and self-reliance. I'm not sure how much I'll update there. And I really don't know how much I'm going to update here.

We'll see how I feel in January, but I'll probably still try to check in here once a month. It is the last year before this blog reaches the end of the 10-year journey. So I should keep it alive for at least the last year of my 30s.

Talk to you again when I'm 39. Happy holidays, and a joyous and safe New Year to you.