September Update: Done and Done

BOOK THREE IS DONE!

This is not a drill. I wrote through the climax, through the immediate sad aftermath (a phrase I coined when trying to explain the next scene, and Jack said that's officially what it should be called, haha), and all the resolutions. I found an even better last line than I had before. And I wrote THE END.

And the last line is really great. I wrote it after the climax, then had to move it. It's a great line to really hit it home that this is the heroine's journey story arc.

ANYway. Finally. After months of thinking I'd be able to wrap it up. Months of "okay, just one more month, another 15k words." It finally wrapped up at about 142,500 words, a little before noon on Labor Day. A lot of those words are awful and redundant. But. All of the sand is in the sandbox, now. My next step is to shape that sand into a well-constructed sand castle. It's going to take time, patience, persistence, and perseverance. And probably a lot of blood, sweat and tears. But these days, I do really enjoy the editing process as much as, if not more than, the actual writing.

So, while the book is "done," it's not actually done, done. They never are. I'm already thinking about scenes that need to be moved and things I need to add. It's going to be a long book, don't get me wrong. But I'm hopeful that in edits, I'll be able to get it back down around 130k-135k. But as the last book in a trilogy, I think it's acceptable to be longer than the others. I've got book one down to 119k. Book two I think is around 125k. So, yeah. Not more than 135k, I think. I hope.

I thought it might be fun to share some stats, real quick, to show how hard I worked to wrap this book up by this past weekend. I wrote 8k words over the three-day weekend. I wrote over 15k words in a week. And I wrote 15k total in August, and that was after writing about 4k in the first week, then barely writing until the last four days of the month.

It was really important to me to wrap it up over the weekend. The main reason is because August 31 is the anniversary of my mom's passing. She's been gone eight years, now. And as I've been writing this trilogy, I've realized that it parallels my journey through dealing with grief. I realized as I neared the end of book three, planning Diana's resolution, that all of these books were about dealing with the loss of my mom. I was all like "and in the end, Diana will let go of her anger and find healthy ways to grieve those she's lost and...oh. Right." It me. So yeah. Writing "the end" the weekend of that anniversary had a lot of synergy. Diana can finally be happy. And so can I. And I have been.

I also started writing this crazy trilogy in August seven years ago, so wrapping it up in August was also important. Especially since I wasn't able to finish it during Camp NaNo.

Anyway. TL;DR: book three is done and I'm happy.

And I ordered my camera. I'll get it this weekend. I'm so excited.

We'll see what the next month or so brings. It may bring me diving full speed into edits of book three, I may jump into SP, or I may try to write a Cafe story or two. I may do absolutely nothing for a month or two. I'm kind kind of just listening to myself to see what I'm up for. I'm strangely not as tired as I thought I'd be after all that. I'm more invigorated than anything. It's weird.

Also, in the last month, I've decided to table querying Druid Wars until next year. I may still work on edits for it before the year is out, but I won't plan on querying until spring of next year. In hindsight, all those rejections really did a number on me, so I'm not in a hurry to put myself out there again. It probably means burning the SFFpit like I got, but at this point, I don't care. I am not in a place where I have the energy to query and receive rejections, let alone deal with an acceptance if I happened to get one.

So yeah. My goal this month is to take it easy and work on those things I feel like working on. I might try to hit my 15k words by writing a Cafe story or throwing a few words on various projects, but if I fall short, it's fine. Next month, I will try to work on edits on Druid Wars before diving into crazy writing in November.

I have no idea what I'm writing for NaNo. And I'd like to keep it that way until a few days before it starts.

I have no idea what I'm doing this month as far as writing. I don't even know if I'll have anything worthwhile to update about next month, so it may be quiet here for a bit.

All I know is that I'll be taking some pictures for awhile.

August Update: Tough Goodbyes

Okay, bad news first.

Book three is still not done.

The good news is, I did spend most of the month working on it, adding about 20k words and moving it up so that it's very, very near the climax. The rest shouldn't take more than 10k-15k to write. So. I'm aiming to have that done in the next couple of weeks.

The second half of this month, I am really going to try to dive back into Druid Wars and at least get the dev edits done. I'm getting antsy to get that out. I'd really like to start querying this year, if at all possible, and I'm running out of months. They say most agents don't read much in December, even if they don't close, and I'm planning to focus solely on writing something new in November for NaNo. So that leaves August, September, and October to clean it up and query.

I think it'll be easier to shift focus to editing Druid Wars once book three is done. It's taking up a lot of my creative space right now, and I'm just so, so close to done that I can't think about anything else, even though some days I wish I could.

Hard to believe I started this journey seven years ago. It'll probably be eight years, all told, once I get edits and stuff done. Three books, start to finish, in eight years. That's not bad.

I would like to get more consistent though. I'm in a weird limbo where I'm working on old projects, trying to get them where they need to be. Once I settle into a write, edit, query routine, I'll be able to better put a timeline on books. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I'll always be all over the place.

 I still need to write one more Sally Prescott novelette this year, too. I got the alien one written (although it needs a really big edit in the middle), and the opening to the forest one. It should only take a month to crank it out. It'll be hard without Camp to help me through it, though. Hell, maybe I'll spend NaNo proper writing two SPs. Or even three! That math checks out. I need 15k more on 2.2 and two more would be 35k.

I'll consider it. I think I'll be pissed at myself if I do that, but it would put me back on track. I really would like to do three a year. Hell, I'd like to do five a year, but that's probably too much. They're supposed to be fun and laid back. I can't be that silly on command that much.

No, I really think I need something brand new. Although I tried that last year, and it didn't work. I love the world and story I created, and I really want to go back and find out what happens, but not for a NaNo.

I have to admit that the last month, I've been teetering on the edge of, do I really want to keep doing this? And I know I doubt myself from time to time and always come back to writing. But I think once I finish writing Mystwatch book three and editing Druid Wars book one, I may take a break for awhile. Maybe I'll do the SP adventure, but I have promised myself the freedom to not work on anything once all my projects for this year are done.

We'll see when I get there. I might not get there this year. I may drag these lingering projects into the next year. I hope not. I'd like to wrap up this "chapter" so to speak.

I want to switch gears for awhile. Maybe just a month. But I want to buy a new camera and take some pictures. I want to switch mediums and spend my free time photowandering rather than thinking so much about writing and editing. I want to tell stories with light rather than words. Probably not forever. Just for a bit. Until I get tired of it. Until I get antsy again.

I've written consistently for the last three and a half years (or at least written a writing blog once a month since then), so I think it would be okay for me to take some time away from it. I'm strangely not worried about losing momentum or anything. I'm already so behind on all my goals. I'm ready to throw my timeline out the window. If anything, I think a break might help recharge me. Give me some new stories and some new perspectives.

This is all tentative right now. When the time comes, I may not take a break. I may not actually know how to do that, anymore. But I will take pictures, either way. When I finish writing book three, I am going to reward myself with a new camera.

I'm dragging my feet, though. In part because once it's done, that's it. The end of something huge. In part because in my mind, I already know how it ends. I've imagined the final scenes over and over since the very first chapter I wrote. But I owe it to a lot of people--my friends, my brother and sister, my main character, and even myself--to put those images to paper. The end of the end. Diana's closure.

I'll be sad to say goodbye.

But the good news is, I'm already seeing Diana and the rest of the cast of characters through Eden's eyes, so I know it's only "see you later" not "goodbye." I'm not done writing in the MystWatch world. I'm just going away for a little while. I know I can always go back to visit.

Anyway. I digress.

Goodbyes are hard. I've lost a lot of coworkers at the day job the last several months, and that's been really sad. So many of them are off to better places, so in a way, I am jealous that I'm being left behind at this weird job that isn't really editing in the strictest sense. It's hard because I'm not even looking for another job. My plan has always been to work this job until I can make a living with my writing. I'm starting to worry it won't last that long.

Case in point, I just made $50 on a short story. Which, hey, someone wanted to buy one of my stories, paying me for a story that took me two days to write! But that was after sending it out seven times, and all the rest of the stories I've sent out have been rejected (or are in limbo).

It's so hard being a writer. It's demoralizing sometimes. As is the day job sometimes. I don't want to look for something new. But I might have to, out of fear for my job security.

Anyway. Life is chaotic and I have no idea what I'm doing. And I'm not even the one who just had a baby and moved into a new house (my sister), or got a new job and am moving to a new state (my coworker).

This turned into more of a look into my personal life than just my writing life. But sometimes it's hard to pull the two apart.

Anyway. This isn't goodbye for this blog. Not now. Not yet. But if I do finish my projects and decide I need a break, I may take a hiatus from posting here. Or hey, maybe I'll just post pictures. They do say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

I guess we'll see when the time comes.

July Update: Setbacks

Nothing like finding a pattern, accepting that it changes, then having the whole thing go out the window.

At the end of May, I had the first in a long line in some health issues. Then friends and family had health issues. And, not surprisingly, all of that really sucks creativity dry. I barely had the energy to do my normal day-to-day stuff, so there wasn't anything left for writing.

Don't get me wrong. I love writing. It's a great escape. But it takes up a lot of space, both time-wise and mentally. Especially when trying to write on the level that I am.

So, when I hit the last week of June and hadn't done much at all, I adjusted my goals to be more modest. I still didn't make those goals, so now I'm just calling June my mid-year break. I think sometimes I need a slower month. Especially when life happens beyond its normal scope.

I did get a Cafe story written, and wrote a few thousand on book three, so I managed to pull out just under 6k words written for the month, with about 10 hours of editing various things (mostly my Cafe story and some tweaks to book three as I was re-familiarizing myself with characters and tone). Not too shabby, all things considered.

This month, I had originally planned on writing the next SP adventure, but at the last minute, I decided I was in the mood to keep working on book three. So now my goal is to finish it up this month. That way I can keep my Camp continuity like I wanted in April. I just broke 100k for the book, and the rest of the scenes should be fairly straightforward. We're rushing toward the climax now. I know all the scenes that need to happen to get me there. And right now, when I do sit down to write, the words come easily. So I'm optimistic I can get this done this month.

That means I might not get to Druid Wars edits. Which means I might be ruining the one agent like I got on Twitter for #SFFpit. But I don't mind too much. A like is a like, so even if I don't get around to submitting it to her until, like, October, she'd still be interested, right?

Anyway. Because of this little snag in my writing progress, I'm having to revamp my project timeline. MystWatch and Druid Wars are my big projects now. I want to get both of those done this year. Which means that, yet again, Pandemonium book one is getting pushed back. I'll work on it next year.

And that shifts everything else back almost a year. So. I might be waiting until 2021 to publish MystWatch. And that's okay. Looking that far ahead is fun, but making definite plans for the future is silly, because it's so easy to get off track and really berate myself for that. I'd rather focus on the progress I've actually made than the goals I've failed to meet.

The most important thing I think I've realized after deciding to push all my goals back is that I have all the time in the world right now. I can take two years to write a book. I can take a full year to edit a book. I don't have fans or contracts or deadlines. And right now, I really like that. I can read books and watch shows and take time off. Just because I can write 15k a month doesn't mean I have to do it every month.

I know I've realized that before, but I'm trying to remind myself of that frequently. There's no rush. I've got time. The longer I wait, the more material I'll have built up, which means the less I'll have to push myself in the future. I need lots of space and time.

I do want to query Druid Wars this year. I do. But I want to finish book three first, so I can focus on it better.

And then for NaNo, I want to write something new! I don't know what yet. But I also don't really want to think about it yet, because I got tired of my NaNo idea last year before I'd even really started. I'd love to do a real NaNo this year. Really push myself to write a crazy novel in a month. Participate in events and stuff. Not worry about markets or agents or editing or messing up continuity in a given series. I hope I can pull that off.

But I have to get everything else done this year first.

So. For July, I will aim to finish book three. That's it. In August, I'll edit Druid Wars, then once that's ready to start submitting, I'll write the SP adventure I didn't write this month. September, I'll start editing book three, maybe write Shane's short. In October, I'll finish editing book three and maybe write another SP adventure. Then, I'll be ready for NaNo in November. Then in December, I'll tie up any loose ends. If there are no loose ends, I will rest.

And that's as far as I'm planning. A year at a time, Sara. Baby steps will still get me there, in the end.