August Update: Story Acceptance and Potential Collection

Good news! I did reach my Camp NaNo goal! Which led me to realize that even though it was fun to write, it's not really a very solid novel idea. I may go back to it when I'm bored just for fun, but I can't imagine when I'll have that kind of free time. It has a really interesting relationship dynamic--the protagonist and her rommate, and the protagonist and her not-so-love interest--so I may reuse elements of that at some point. But as a whole, it was mostly a rehashing of my time working at Wal-Mart turned into paranormal romance. I don't feel like anyone but me would enjoy it, so I'm shelving it for now to purse other projects that I feel have more potential.

So last month I started submitting short stories again, using Duotrope to find markets and track. I hadn't actively tried to get any short stories published for over a year, but in a flurry of cover letters and email queries, I sent out fourteen of my strongest short stories.

Then I sat back and waited. And got some rejections. And sent those stories back out. And finally, Jack said hey, there is this collection I think would be a good fit for one of your stories. So I submitted. And then, after about a month, my story got accepted.

A story I wrote for the Cafe, called "The Heart of Stone Monsters," will be in Wolfsinger's Misunderstood anthology that comes out on October 31 of this year. They are going to pay me five whole dollars. Woohoo!

I am excited about this. They've been extremely pleasant to work with so far. And as much as I love Halloween already, I have an even greater reason to be excited about it this year!

But. That is the only acceptance I've had so far. I still have about ten submissions out at the moment, but I'm getting rather discouraged. I've been through almost all of my stories once already. It's been a nice distraction, but I need to focus on more fruitful things. Writing short stories is a lot of fun, and I've gotten many a story idea for novels later down the line writing for the Cafe every month, so I don't plan on stopping writing them. But trying to get them published in magazines isn't really the best use of my time these days. It would be nice if I could recoup my Duotrope subscription costs, but even if I don't, that's been worth it to get my writing friends submitting, as well.

I think between Jack and Rachel, I've been talked into putting together a short story collection. Having written a short story a month for the Cafe this year, and all of my previous work, I'll have a pretty substantial amount of stories to collect. So I'm thinking about that. Brainstorming titles, trying to figure out who would edit it, how much I'd be willing to pay for a cover, stuff like that. I've been toying with this idea for about a month now, and I still haven't come down firmly on one side or the other as far as putting it out there. I think I'd probably aim for early 2016. Before Conquest, for sure, so I would have something to sell at the Bottle Cap Publishing table (if we get one).

I also really need to focus my energies back on the novel. Monsters of Lawrence is really close to done--A few weeks of intensive edits should make it ready for submission--but it's been in limbo since it came back from beta readers. I'm not sure if it's fear of failure or fear of success that has me stalled out at the moment. I'm also going through a phase of not feeling like my work is all that good, so what is the point of working on anything. I'd like to try to get back into it before the next book edit from Rachel. I have about a month at this point. Plenty of time. I just need to get my butt in gear and do it whether I'm in the mood or not. I've been putting it off for too long.

If anything, all of this short story submission has been a good warm-up for when I start submitting my novel. Helps thicken my skin and realize that there is a market for everything.

So that's me this month. Next month I will be in crazy last-minute wedding planning mode, and then Jack and I head to California for our honeymoon. We're hoping to do a bit of writing for the first half (since we were supposed to be at the Haunted Mansion retreat that got cancelled), and then drink a lot the second half in Napa. I'm looking forward to the time away. I'm sure I'll post update before our wedding, which is in early October.

October is shaping up to be a pretty awesome month for me. I just need to survive the rest of August and the first few weeks of September to get there!

July Update: Camp NaNo and Short Story Submission

The LFK Writers and I decided to participate in the second session of Camp NaNoWriMo this year. I'd say we've had about as much success this time around as we did in April. That is to say, some of us wrote a lot of words, some of us never even started our projects.

I will probably not reach my goal of 15,000 words, but I should hit around 10,000, and it's allowed me to explore a story idea I might otherwise not have revisited. The idea now has more of a foundation, and has the potential to become something, I think. Maybe something like a throw-away, self-published book I put out under a pseudonym, but also maybe something I can edit into a hot urban fantasy type book. Either way, I'm glad I did this round of Camp NaNo. I definitely got something out of it, even if I didn't reach my word count goal.

All of the LFK Writers have started to have similar feelings about NaNo. Not just Camp, but also NaNo proper. We're all outgrowing it a bit. We all know we can write a given amount of words in a month. We are now, most of us, in a place where we need to write good words in a month, not just any old words to reach an arbitrary word count goal. Having a deadline and the camaraderie for NaNo are still great things, but I think we've all grown past the point where we need NaNo to write.

I have never been so proud of my writing group as I have been this year.

We are all writing short stories every month that are published on our website. We've been going strong for seven months now. Rachel has just started a brand new books series, and she's actually doing really well without her publisher. The LFK Women Writers are beginning to submit stories to various publications. We've actually had a couple be published already. Jack continues to have stories published on a regular basis, and he is taking the GRE this very morning so he can apply to the KU PhD in creative writing program.

And that's just the start. Our group is expanding: we've had a couple of past members become active again. We've recruited several new members who are actually contributing their stories to the Cafe, as well. Several of us are getting close to finishing up full-length novels that we are actually serious about getting published.

It's amazing to be a part of such an amazing group of writers. Watching all of us grow as writers and gain the confidence to put ourselves out there along this journey has been incredible. I fought long and hard to get this group to where it is. And now, I feel like, if for whatever reason I stepped away from them, they would continue on strong. It's not like the days where if I didn't show up, there was no group.

I don't often get possessive or brag about this, but back in the day, with the help of one or two other people, I started this writing group. I had no idea, ten years ago, that we would have such an amazing group of people now. It makes me happy in ways I can't even put into words.

So that's my biggest news, I guess. I have an awesome writing group.

In other news, I finished editing my first full-length novel for R.L. Naquin. I have fourteen stories on submission right now, waiting to hear if anyone wants to buy one. I have written one short story a month for the last seven months. And...if all goes well...I will be starting edits on Monsters of Lawrence next month. Fingers crossed for me, friends. I am terrified about this project. It's so close to finished, but it still needs a ton of work before it's done. I know I can do it. I just need to jump in there and start getting my hands dirty.

Gotta get your hands dirty if you want things to grow. I'd say that goes for writing as much as it does for gardening. I've cultivated a lot of things this summer, from food to fiction. It feels pretty amazing.

Realized and Unrealized

I've been quiet. I apologize for the silence. It was the sort of silence that occurs when you take a breath and hold it.

I feel like I've been holding my breath. Waiting to exhale, as it were.

I've finally heard back from all but a couple of my previous batch of short story submissions, and none of the news has been good. I had my one lucky break, and now I starting to feel very far away from my dreams again.

I'll keep at it, of course. Even as I fought with myself whether to send the same stories back out or not, I researched markets and sent them today. I keep plugging away, expecting rejections and not acceptances now.

I've lowered my sights a little bit, too. Instead of choosing by highest paying market, I'm aiming for exposure instead, so I'm targeting markets with higher acceptance rates. Smart or stupid business practice, I don't really know, but honestly I just want my stories out there. The money (at this point) doesn't matter.

Someday, of course, I'd love to support myself solely on writing. But I'm not dedicated enough to the craft yet. I'm still learning. I'm still feeling my way through the process. I still need to learn how to edit longer manuscripts.

This past year has been a lot of trial and error and revamping of my writing goals. I've written at least one flash fiction story every month over the past year. I've learned how to edit shorter works. I've learned how the submission process works. I'm also figuring out what I want.

So while I'm falling short of a lot of my goals this year, I realize that it's because they were unrealistic. Or uneducated. Not because I'm not capable.

I won't give up. Not again. That's one of my goals for the up and coming year: no quitting. But I have accepted that there will be slumps. And that I might feel like quitting sometimes.

Looking forward, I probably won't be submitting anything else for awhile after this current round I just sent out: it's time to focus on National Novel Writing Month and try remember how to write novels. I've been a short story writer this year, and while I'm nervous to put my noveling pants back on, I think it's time.

I just hope flash fiction hasn't ruined my ability to tell a story in more than 1000 words!

I'm a Writer

I've always been a writer

One month ago I announced that I was giving up on my dream to become a published writer.

I've done a lot of thinking since then. I received a bunch of pep talks and encouragement from my writing family. I explored alternatives to editing my full length novels, primarily shifting to short stories to submit to magazines and anthologies. I've made attempts towards that in fits and starts and haven't gotten very far. I continue to write about writing for the Confabulator Cafe. I finally started reading the memoir I wrote two years ago and never looked at again. I've reconsidered the idea of self-publishing.

The conclusion I've reached, in the one month after giving up on myself?

I will always be a writer. Even if I'm in a fight with writing, even if I'm taking a break from it, even if I never publish anything or make a dime, I will always be a writer. It's who I am. They say your job doesn't define who you are, and that's true. I'm not an administrative associate. I am a writer.

It doesn't have to be my job to be who I am.

I don't know where that leaves me on the quest I set for myself, though. What is the next step? I don't know. I just know I was a bit over-ambitious when making my writing goals for this year. I got overwhelmed by all of the work I suddenly made for myself, and I wasn't entirely prepared.

So I took a step back. And now, hopefully, I will start taking baby steps forward again.

My very first step? Find a literary magazine or anthology for a horror short story I wrote several years ago. Once that is submitted, I will work on another short story. And then I'll submit it. And then I'll write another one, and submit it. And then, maybe I will have heard back about the first or second one. And then, if they were rejected, I will submit them elsewhere. Rinse and repeat.

And hopefully I will start writing every day again. I found a book at Half Price Books on Sunday, and I think it is exactly what I need to get started again: The Writer's Book of Matches - 1001 Prompts to Ignite Your Fiction. If I can use a prompt every day, whether I write a paragraph or a page or a short story or a novel, I will write for at least 1001 days in a row.

I know. I'm being overly ambitious again. But if this can help get me past my slump, it'll be $8 well spent.

I'm now picking up the pieces leftover from my breakdown. I'm getting it together and I'm getting back in the saddle, as it were. It's only February. I still have time to salvage some of my 2012 writing goals.

And I'm only a little worse for wear.

Sally Prescott made it home safely

I took advantage of the fact that there was nobody in my office at work today and did some writing on the Sally Prescott adventure.

It's officially finished!

Ok, when I say finished, what I really mean is written. I'm not done with it by a long shot. It's one of those "shitty first drafts" that all the writers talk about, so it needs a lot of tweaking before I let anyone else read it. But. It's written. I have a complete story to work with.

You may or may not realize what a milestone this is for me. Or even the Doctor Who fanfic. I have long suffered an acute case of Unfinished Story. I know it's a common syndrome among writers, but mine is particularly severe. National Novel Writing Month did wonders as far as treatment; I finished my November novels for the last two years in a row now. But it didn't cure me of it completely. Outside of November, I hardly write at all, let alone finish a story.

With Sally Prescott and the Haunted Treasure, and also the Doctor Who fanfic, I have finished two whole stories outside of November. I am making progress.

These two newest accomplishments were for the pure fun of writing. No deadlines, no accountability, just me finally getting serious about my craft. It was also an exercise in confidence building: I proved to myself that I can finish what I start.

Of course I've realized that neither of them are publishable. As much as I love Sally and her wacky adventures, I will probably always write those for fun, and only share them on Scribd. Maybe someday when I have enough of them I'll make a collection and self publish them on Create Space. The Offbeat Adventures of Sally Prescott Volume One or something. At around 30 pages apiece, they're too short to be novels and too long to be short stories, and honestly I wouldn't want them any longer than that.

It's interesting. Most of my shorts end up being about that long. Maybe I should be writing for television?

I made a deal with myself that I could move on to the next big project once I finished writing those two stories. Well I've finished just in time for the start of the very first session of Camp Nanowrimo! I wasn't going to do it, but it's July 1st and I have a three day weekend ahead of me. Plus, I was a good girl and finished my dinner, so now I get dessert, right? I think I'll give it a shot. Nothing ventured nothing gained, as they say.

I'm guess I'm off to camp!