Realized and Unrealized

I've been quiet. I apologize for the silence. It was the sort of silence that occurs when you take a breath and hold it.

I feel like I've been holding my breath. Waiting to exhale, as it were.

I've finally heard back from all but a couple of my previous batch of short story submissions, and none of the news has been good. I had my one lucky break, and now I starting to feel very far away from my dreams again.

I'll keep at it, of course. Even as I fought with myself whether to send the same stories back out or not, I researched markets and sent them today. I keep plugging away, expecting rejections and not acceptances now.

I've lowered my sights a little bit, too. Instead of choosing by highest paying market, I'm aiming for exposure instead, so I'm targeting markets with higher acceptance rates. Smart or stupid business practice, I don't really know, but honestly I just want my stories out there. The money (at this point) doesn't matter.

Someday, of course, I'd love to support myself solely on writing. But I'm not dedicated enough to the craft yet. I'm still learning. I'm still feeling my way through the process. I still need to learn how to edit longer manuscripts.

This past year has been a lot of trial and error and revamping of my writing goals. I've written at least one flash fiction story every month over the past year. I've learned how to edit shorter works. I've learned how the submission process works. I'm also figuring out what I want.

So while I'm falling short of a lot of my goals this year, I realize that it's because they were unrealistic. Or uneducated. Not because I'm not capable.

I won't give up. Not again. That's one of my goals for the up and coming year: no quitting. But I have accepted that there will be slumps. And that I might feel like quitting sometimes.

Looking forward, I probably won't be submitting anything else for awhile after this current round I just sent out: it's time to focus on National Novel Writing Month and try remember how to write novels. I've been a short story writer this year, and while I'm nervous to put my noveling pants back on, I think it's time.

I just hope flash fiction hasn't ruined my ability to tell a story in more than 1000 words!

The Journey Continues: More Rejections, More Practice, and a Book Plug

You remember how I said my first story rejection didn't bother me much? That I just shrugged it off?

Well I've gotten a couple more since then, and each one stings a bit more than the last. For awhile, my stats on Duotrope (the awesome, free website that writers can use to find markets and track their submissions) showed my accept rate as 50%. I had one story rejected, and one story accepted.

I'm at 25% now, because I haven't had any more accepted.

I know I got really lucky (although I like to think my intensive market research paid off, too) getting the second story I ever submitted accepted, but it also spoiled me a bit. I expect better results of myself now.

Although at the same time I'm glad I did get an acceptance, otherwise it's possible I might have gotten discouraged and given up by now.

As it is, I'm still cleaning old stuff up and submitting it, trying to write new stuff, finding backup markets for stuff that's out so I can immediately turn it around when it's rejected, and actually looking into bigger markets. Semi-pro to pro markets.

I'm also getting excited about editing something longer than a short story. I've got a 20k short that I'm going to polish next. I think I'm ready for it.

And after that? Well, practice makes perfect (hah), but more importantly, practice builds confidence.

With each story, I'm getting closer to being ready to tackle my novel.

My goal is to have a novel ready to start querying by the beginning of next year. This has been my year of short stories. It was supposed to be mostly editing, but it's taken me a bit more time to figure out how the heck to do that. I don't see it as much of a setback. I see it more as me having to reassess my goals based on new knowledge.

The editing classes I'm taking starting in September should also help. Hopefully. It'll be interesting to try to write a Nanowrimo novel, where you have to suspend the internal editor, while taking an editing class.

Speaking of Nanowrimo, I was contacted by the public library, and they want to do some programming for NaNo this year! I'm thrilled to death they want to get the word out about it and host some events and write-ins for us. This year is going to be legendary.

I'm getting so excited for Nano, in fact, that I've started buying items for survival kits. Really, that is one of my favorite parts about being ML: putting together kits filled with goodies for the participants. Well, being ML in general is my favorite part, but spoiling my Wrimos is a big part of that. I really do love to share my passion and excitement for writing with everyone.

I just hope I'm able to write a novel this year. I'm still having trouble writing anything longer than a short story. I had planned on giving Camp Nanowrimo another shot this month, but that was an epic misfire. It was a week into August before I even realized it.

But I'm a writer. That's what I do. In November, I write novels. I always get nervous about it, which is usually unfounded. My mind knows what to do. I just have to make the time to do it.

Anyway. It's been a long and twisted path, this road to becoming a published writer. I've always known it would be, but I've found that the twists and turns are less scary as I'm winding through them than when I was looking at them from afar. It doesn't seem as insurmountable now. It's almost like, when I first started this journey, I kept thinking I had to jump across this huge chasm from unpolished writer to published writer. Turns out, it's more like building a bridge. I'm putting a slat down for each step I take.

Although I have to admit, the road has been much easier with R.L. Naquin forging the way ahead of me first and calling back to me along the way, warning me of pitfalls.

Well, and the excitement (and work) of success. Her first novel, Monster in my Closet, came out at the end of last month. You should go buy it if you haven't yet. It's a super fast, fun read. I laughed, I cried, and I fell in love with all of the characters.

Rachel truly is an inspiration to me. She's part of the reason I've come as far as I have on this journey.

The Importance of Input for Output

It’s been awhile since I’ve done an input/output entry. Lately I’ve been reading a great deal of non-fiction, books I’m not all that into, and watching a lot of episodic television, so I haven’t had much input to speak of.

I believe this directly correlates with how much trouble I’ve had writing this month.

I’ve said it so many times before: writers have to be avid readers. We have to constantly stimulate the mind in order to stay in touch with our creative sides; too much of our daily grind causes a complete shutdown of creativity, so in order to nurture, to cultivate a mind fertile for ideas to grow, it needs nutrients.

I’ve been starving my poor mind of stimulating input.

It’s true that I’ve had spurts of good, fun writing this month, but overall it’s been a slogfest.

Until two days ago. Writing the last two days has been easier than it has been all month. Fun even.

It’s possible that it’s because I’m nearing the end of my story – I’m finally on the downhill stretch, things are finally starting to happen, my characters are starting to reach the crest of their character arcs – but I think all of these things are happening because I finally read a book I was really excited about.

I have to remember to read while I’m writing. It’s tough sometimes to make time to write, let alone read, but the two go hand in hand.

Which brings me to this post’s actual input choice:

Grave Dance, by Kalayna Price

It only took me two days to read this book. I realized as I was reading it how much of my world in Online Dating for Demons was influenced by this series. My female lead has similar promiscuity issues, there’s a heavy use of glamour, the way magic/supernatural works in the world is similar. The main difference is I use demons instead of faeries.

I didn't mean to steal so blatantly from this author, but her books, while being pretty fluffy paranormal romance, are pretty awesome.

So. Yeah. If you like my story, you will love this series.

And with the help of this book and my writing group, my story will be done by midnight tomorrow, just in time for the end of National Novel Writing Month. I'm taking a long nap after that, and a short hiatus from writing.

Write-In Magic

Magic: The Write-In Gathering

The Write-In is a powerful part of National Novel Writing Month. I've already discussed how Nanowrimo is all about the community, and write-ins are a key component of that. 

There is a particular tool used in conjunction with the write-in, which can be in-person or virtual in nature, and that is the Word Sprint, which is also magical.

Here are some examples of write-in and word sprint magic:

• They have unclogged my writer's block more than once, one time resulting in an info dump that helped me explore my character, and another pushing me through a painfully uncomfortable scene from the point of view of my serial killer character. The most recent set of sprints during an online get together with The Writing Buddy resulted in a lovely word-boosting sex scene. I can now reclaim this story as a paranormal romance!
• They got R.L. Naquin back on track. She was frozen, unable to figure out what came next, having doubt, which she tried to Give Fear A Swift Kick Out the Door. It wasn't until the write-in and our word sprinting that she was able to start hammering away at it again.
• Between the online and in-person word sprints, we shot several people past 25k and even 30k. They even helped my poor Writing Buddy get back some words she sadly lost due to technology failure.
• Word sprints at write-ins, a blissful silence descends, except for the clack of keys. It's motivating and helps us flighty writers focus.
• My favorite part is the whole room full of energy from the humming minds of writers. The air just oozes creativity when you get that many writers in a room working on their novels. Some of my best stuff comes from those meetings.

So while write-ins are also for the community, and the social aspect of writing, we also get an amazing amount of writing done at those things, primarily thanks to word sprints.

I definitely need to do some word sprints tonight, as I am really lagging again. I wish I would stop hating my story every other day. Sort of takes the fun out of writing it.

The Halfway Party is tomorrow night, though, which will help with the motivation, and then, thankfully, we'll have another write-in on Thursday! I need it badly.

The Info Dump

I really want to whine about my novel writing, complain about the doubt gremlins and the doldrums of Week Two, but instead, I'm going to do an actual blog post about writing. Here it goes.

We writers like to call a dense block of information that doesn't move the story forward an Info Dump.

Incoming Info Dump - watch your toes

Have you ever been reading a story that is moving at a good clip, and then all of a sudden, the action slows down and you are innundated with all of this information - about the character, the magic system, the class structure, the geography of the world, or a long-winded story about how everyone knows each other or the origin of everything?

I hope not, because that's poor writing. The writer should feed you that stuff gradually, so you don't even notice it, because you absorb it along with the story as it plays out.

Or rather, I suppose a blatant info dump is more poor editing, not poor writing.

Because the info dump is actually a very useful tool for writers in our early drafts. It sometimes will read like a flow of consciousness, where we work things out as we type. We tap into the creative side of our brains and give it free reign.

It is like we are walking around in the world, describing what we see, feeling our way along, watching the details unfold. It helps us establish the world we are creating. Helps us get to know our characters - we listen to their backstories and their opinions on various topics that are sometimes irrelevant to the story itself. We work out the intricate details of government organization, or religion, or society structure.

All of that is important information for the author to know, but how much does the reader need to be exposed to? Small, edible chunks that flesh out the world or characters without detracting from the story that is being told.

What it comes down to is that a lot of the info dump details might not make it into the final book itself. But the writer knows, and can therefore write a convincing story in a fully formed world with those details in mind.

I stagnated on my Nano story for a couple of days, but I sat down and did some timed word sprints with my Wrimos last night, and got about 1500 words written. Those words, I realized when I was done, are a giant info dump. I know a lot of it will either be cut up and inserted/distributed elsewhere, and the rest will be shucked off for the second draft, remaining only in my mind and my notes.

But I also know that I was in desperate need of that info dump. I hadn't delved too far into this new world of demons and humans that I created off the cuff for this story. I have a better understanding of it all now. I was so focused on the needs of my individual characters, I hadn't thought about the demon population as a whole. What does this entire species want? Why would they even need a dating website?

And so I came up with the past, present, and future of the demon races.

So while many of you may never see what I wrote last night, it was an enlightening evening of writing, and it boosted my wordcount significantly.

And now I am moving on to the point of view of my serial killer. Should be an interesting couple of days.

Online Dating for Demons

Everybody's favorite serial killer

National Novel Writing Month is officially underway, and Online Dating For Demons now has an opening scene. I started the month unsure of a lot of things about my novel. After the first day, I still am unsure about most of those things, but I've settled into the spirit of NaNo, so I have confidence that things will work themselves out as I write.

So far I've got demons named using Latin, a demon serial killer who I've just discovered likes Stevie Ray Vaughn, and a fat, insecure demon on a blind date from the online demon dating service.

Oh, and a gruesome murder. That I enjoyed writing way too much.

For some reason, everything I've tried to write lately has turned into horror. Or at least, I thought it was lately. I've been thinking back to some of my old stories, and it seems I've had a horror fixation for awhile. I blame Joss Whedon and Clive Barker.

It doesn't help that my Dexter calendar this month has a picture of Dexter smugly holding an axe.

There will still be love stories in what was originally supposed to be a somewhat fluffy paranormal romance, but they are going the way of Shakespeare's tragedies. Or his comedies, even.

I will admit to something: I had serious concerns about my ability to start another book so close on the heels of my last one. I had no motivation to write, and couldn't get my head out of one project and into the next.

But NaNo is truly magical. The second midnight struck I was writing, and by the end of the first day, I was in the zone. My head was buzzing, filled with ideas and pride, as I tried to fall asleep. I am only 1700 words in, I'm not sure what my next scene is going to be, but the words are solid, and I have big hopes for this story.

It makes me a bit nervous to have high hopes, though. Makes it too easy to disappoint myself, and adds more pressure to try and make it good. And then Publishing Paralysis sneaks up and Writer's Block plops itself in the middle of my keyboard and my muse runs off with another writer.

But. I'm getting ahead of myself. Those are more likely to be Week Two problems. Right now I am definitely wrapped in the warm fuzzies of Week One. I really love my story so far. I'm excited to write it and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens!

I'll keep track of my word count and my favorite lines on the Current Writing Projects page, so check back frequently. I'll let you know how things are going in another blog post after a few days.

Done! But not Done Done

At 10:58pm this evening, I successfully reached my September word count goal of 90,110 words. With an hour to spare. That's a solid 25k more words than I've ever written on a single story before. I've blown my personal record away and established that I do, in fact, have the ability to write a full length novel. I consider L33T September a success.

For the most part.

The whole point of L33T September was to write 40k more words on my August Camp Nanowrimo story so that I could finish the novel.

Word count goal I met, but the damn thing still isn't finished. Nor do I have any idea how many more words or months it's going to take me to wrap it up. I think I am beginning to have an inkling as to why it took George R. R. Martin so long to write his most recent book.

So while I am absolutely astounded that I've written 90,000 words, I am also quite depressed. I still don't feel like I've proven myself as a novelist since I still haven't written a complete novel.

Where unfinished novels go to die

I am also depressed because I was looking forward to taking a month off before jumping into National Novel Writing Month, which a mere month away. But if I quit writing now, I will never finish it. I know myself. It will go to the Nanowrimo Graveyard.

I refuse to let that happen. So I will plod on into October and keep writing, maybe with a nice, modest word count goal of 1,000 words a day until the monstrosity  is done, and just pray to the writing gods that I don't burn out before November.

Speaking of Nanowrimo, though, I am starting to get excited. Had my first meeting with my co-ML today, and we're planning a great month for our Wrimos. Should be a good time for all. I've also finally settled (tentatively) on an idea. That's not saying a whole lot, because I've been known to change my idea the day before Nanowrimo starts, but it's a place to start at least. I'm going to miss The Boss a great deal this year, although he's promised to still dish out plenty of guff, since he's signed up as a rival region co-ML. Bring it on, I say.

So, are you planning on participating in Nanowrimo? Check them out: National Novel Writing Month.

Also, I need a catchy name for writing this October. I had Camp Nanowrimo in August, L33T September...so maybe Last Chance October? Save Sara's Story from the Nanowrimo Graveyard Month? Hah. Graveyard...October...Halloween...maybe?

Like I've said before: I am miserable at coming up with catchy titles. Help a girl out?