Realized and Unrealized

I've been quiet. I apologize for the silence. It was the sort of silence that occurs when you take a breath and hold it.

I feel like I've been holding my breath. Waiting to exhale, as it were.

I've finally heard back from all but a couple of my previous batch of short story submissions, and none of the news has been good. I had my one lucky break, and now I starting to feel very far away from my dreams again.

I'll keep at it, of course. Even as I fought with myself whether to send the same stories back out or not, I researched markets and sent them today. I keep plugging away, expecting rejections and not acceptances now.

I've lowered my sights a little bit, too. Instead of choosing by highest paying market, I'm aiming for exposure instead, so I'm targeting markets with higher acceptance rates. Smart or stupid business practice, I don't really know, but honestly I just want my stories out there. The money (at this point) doesn't matter.

Someday, of course, I'd love to support myself solely on writing. But I'm not dedicated enough to the craft yet. I'm still learning. I'm still feeling my way through the process. I still need to learn how to edit longer manuscripts.

This past year has been a lot of trial and error and revamping of my writing goals. I've written at least one flash fiction story every month over the past year. I've learned how to edit shorter works. I've learned how the submission process works. I'm also figuring out what I want.

So while I'm falling short of a lot of my goals this year, I realize that it's because they were unrealistic. Or uneducated. Not because I'm not capable.

I won't give up. Not again. That's one of my goals for the up and coming year: no quitting. But I have accepted that there will be slumps. And that I might feel like quitting sometimes.

Looking forward, I probably won't be submitting anything else for awhile after this current round I just sent out: it's time to focus on National Novel Writing Month and try remember how to write novels. I've been a short story writer this year, and while I'm nervous to put my noveling pants back on, I think it's time.

I just hope flash fiction hasn't ruined my ability to tell a story in more than 1000 words!

Feeling Famous, Impatient, and Excited

Well, for only having one flash fiction story in one anthology out, I am feeling pretty famous.

I've been mentioned on two blogs (R.L. Naquin's and K.R. Smith's), I've had over a dozen people tell me they've bought the book, several of my friends (writing and otherwise) have posted links to the book on their own Facebook walls, and I have a whopping 58 likes on my Facebook page! I'm not very good at self-promotion, but this has been a blast and everyone has been so incredibly supportive. All of this and it's only a 1000 word story in a publication's first anthology.

I can't wait for the day I sell an actual book. The internet might explode. All thanks to the amazing support of my friends, family, and writing peers. I'm starting to understand how it's possible for people to be successful at self-publication.

I'm nowhere near ready to publish a book though. Much to my chagrin, when my friend told me about Harper Voyager accepting unagented manuscripts for two weeks in October. Oh how I wish one month was enough time for me to whip one of my novels into shape. Harper Voyager is the sci-fi/fantasy imprint of Harper Collins, which as you probably know is one of the big names in publishing. This is a cool little project they are doing where they're looking to showcase new talent via ebook.

If only I had known about it a month or so ago. However, I think this trend will start becoming more and more popular with the big publishing houses. The market is making a huge shift, and these big houses have to adapt to keep up. So hopefully this won't be a one-time thing. I have a novel or two I think would fit with their other authors (which include George R. R. Martin, Raymond E. Feist, Robin Hobb, Sara Douglass, and Peter V. Brett).

In other news, my submission rate has stagnated as I sit waiting to hear back on 7 stories and a collection of 13-word flash fiction. Of course, one of those is Tor.com, which I don't expect to hear back from until around this time next year. But some of the others are a little past due, and I'm too shy to query them. I'm getting impatient.

I also haven't written anything new in awhile. I'm working on this month's flash fiction for the Confabulator Cafe, but I'm having trouble putting it together. I have a fabulous idea, but I can't make it work. Something is missing from it and I can't figure out what.

I've got a couple of ideas for National Novel Writing Month percolating, though. I'm getting excited. I am a bit out of practice, writing anything longer than 1000 words, but I'm looking forward to it. I wrote around 162,000 words for two novels last year and burned myself out pretty badly, but I think I'm ready to try again.

Shadows of the Mind Anthology

Shadows of the Mind

Last week was a tough week, and I apologize for the lack of updates. I've now successfully lived through the two year anniversary of my Mom's passing. For some reason this year was more difficult than the year before. I'm not sure why that is, but I've been in a funk for weeks. I just didn't have it in me to do any updating.

HOWEVER!

I am excited to update you all today, because I have BIG NEWS!

The Shadows of the Mind anthology, put out by Trinity Gateways, featuring my short story "Who's For Dinner?" is now available for purchase on Amazon.

My first book is for sale! On Amazon! My name is in the list of featured authors!

I've been close to hyperventilating since I got the email. I am so excited I could pee my pants. Especially after the three cups of coffee I drank this morning.

But I won't.

I've added this to my Read My Stuff page. It doesn't look so naked now! Right now the only version available for purchase is the Kindle ebook. I've been told that a printed copies as well as an EPUB version will be available sometime in the coming weeks. 

I have to thank all of the brilliant folks at the Confabulator Cafe and all of my writing buddies (including Jessi!) for this. Without them, without the huge project that is the Confabulator Cafe, this story never would have come into being, and I never would have been brave enough to start submitting my work.

You guys are amazing. You are my heroes and my family. I am so happy to know you and be involved in such an awesome group. This is your win as much as it is mine. Thank you for all of your support!

Also, a big thanks goes out to my actual family for always believing in me and supporting me. Emily, Aron, Daddy-o, I love you guys.

The biggest thanks, though, goes out to my boyfriend, Jack Campbell, Jr.  He's the one who helped me figure out the end to this particular story. He's the one that has led by example by endlessly submitting everything he's written until it gets accepted. I never would have began submitting if it weren't for his support and encouragement. I love you, Jack.

I'm officially a published writer!